Thanksgiving Return
I linked up with another student from New Jersey, Matt, for a ride home before Thanksgiving break. He took it at 70 and 80 with the CB on. In the days of 55 limits, it was like flying. Everything in the known universe was stuffed into the hatch of his little Honda Civic.
“The Edge Of Heaven” by Wham!
George Michael & Wham – The Edge of Heaven
He dropped me off at the house. It was a wonderful reunion, and even my brother was being extra-nice.
All week, I enjoyed being at home. I spent a lot of time with Mom, saw my friends, and hung out with Dad. I went with him to Federal Lanes on Sunday to see the Sleepy Five in the leagues. Dad lost the turkey to Harry the Hat. We went down the shore that day and were shocked to find out that Max’s had burned down. The business would be relocated to a new place a couple of blocks inland. We also went bowling at Edison Lanes, I enjoyed Dad’s delicious cooking, and got to go on the tractor-trailer with him again.
I saw Mark again, too. He came over one day and we talked about my WVU experiences, the music I was playing, and other things. We spent the day hanging out, going to dinner, and taking a long drive. His new Toyota Celica was awesome. I played the tenor cadence for him the next day, and we went to the movies. There was a nice kiss goodnight, lending hope that the flame was still there. He said he wanted to get together again over Christmas break.
I visited my high school, and saw a lot of old friends. That night, I went with Mom and Mrs. Schiffman to dinner at the Wooden Nickel. We had a wonderful time. After that, Dad and I went to the Knights where he played pool, and we saw Ike, Mr. Scuorzo, and other friends of his. I had a good time playing darts.
On Thanksgiving, Mom was up enjoying the parade, despite the foam neck brace. She always went above and beyond trying to enjoy life. I drove us in the new Eldorado, up to Aunt Marietta’s for turkey (and antipasto and lasagna of course, by Italian tradition).
John came out to meet my family the day after Thanksgiving. By that time he’d become enough of a companion to me that I wanted my parents and friends to meet him too.
They liked him, and my brother as usual never let us alone (par for the course ever since I started dating).
I think John was blindsided by the antics and raucous shenanigans, and we showed some home movies on Saturday night. On Sunday morning before John was to leave, I got him another slice of “rye bread”—a dry round sponge from the sink on a plate. More goofy guffaws. John was in.
Though I was still unable to make a commitment, John was definitely interested in an exclusive relationship. After he’d gone, I discovered he’d purposely left his high school ring on my desk in my bedroom. I smiled … but my heart was wrenching. This guy was so lovable and so insistent. I penned a lighthearted letter to him, joking that I’d found a bauble that fit just perfectly around my drumstick, but thought it better to return it. I gently explained that I couldn’t accept it.
“Careless Whisper” George Michael
George Michael – Careless Whisper
Pop music from late that semester included Careless Whisper by Wham!, Like a Virgin by Madonna (didn’t care for that one… overplayed), I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner, and Easy Lover by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey (I LOVED that song).
Back for Dead Week and finals, we were informed that the WVU Marching Band was to gear up for the post-season! Not only had we smoked Penn State, but we had upset #4 Boston College (their “golden boy” Doug Flutie never beat West Virginia).
The Mountaineer football team was awarded a bowl berth that year, to face the Texas Christian University Horned Frogs. We were bound for the Bluebonnet Bowl at the Astrodome in Houston, Texas!
Another Operation for Mom
During that several-week stretch between breaks, though, Mom finally went for that “potentially life-saving surgery” delayed several months due to her desire to get me safely off to college.
For the short term, Dad kept the details from me, because they didn’t want to distract me from my studies. I’m told that I was spared much of the hell going on at home for that reason.
This operation was to bolster Mom’s neck vertebrae, because the cancer had eaten away to a point where her neck would soon be unable to maintain support of her head.
While I was preparing for finals, my parents and brother had an awful time of it. Dr. Simeone at the hospital in Philadelphia attached a “halo ring brace” on Mom, a metal circular contraption around her head with “pins” drilled into her skull, connected by metal rods to a vest-like unit secured on her shoulders. She had to sleep sitting up. It was horrible.
I am told that one night Mom was in so much pain that Dad tore out of the room into the hallway, raising Cain. He threatened to wreck the place if somebody would not administer pain medication NOW. You want to see a dozen people in white jackets jump.
A professional driver, Dad’s mental and physical exhaustion was so complete one day that he had 15-year-old Steve drive the two of them out to Philadelphia in the early morning hours.
“The Method Of Modern Love” by Hall & Oates
Hall & Oates – Method Of Modern Love
Dead Week and Finals
As expected, I did well on every final exam but Written Theory. This four-semester class would continue to be the bane of my existence through the following year.
Aural theory however, was so easy I aced every listening test— relative pitch didn’t hurt when identifying notes, chords and intervals. I played violin for my end-of-semester “jury,” ascending a proficiency level.
The orchestra had its fall concert, and I particularly enjoyed playing the contemporary and memorable Concerto for Organ, Harp and Strings in C by Howard Hanson, conducted by Dr. Donald Portnoy. John attended that concert, and taped it for me.
A Somber Christmas
Before I went home for winter break Dad briefed me as to the state of things at home. Mom had since been transferred from Philadelphia back to St. Peter’s in New Brunswick, and she would remain there through New Year’s at least. She was in a lot of pain. It wasn’t good news.
I got another ride home with Matt, and he dropped me off at home again. I didn’t know what to expect when I got home, but went right to the hospital and up to Mom’s room. I can remember only sadness, though Mom tried her best to look upbeat and ask me about exams. She referred to the torturous “halo” as her MTV.
When I called Mark, his dad answered and I found out that Mark was in the hospital. His good friend and keyboard player Gus had been lost in a freak auto accident. Mark had been driving, and he was banged up some.
Apparently, another car crossed into his lane with no lights and caused a head-on. What a horrible situation, and I felt awful, but was grateful that he wasn’t seriously hurt. His new Celica was totaled.
I was saddened to hear the news, and called the hospital to offer my condolences to Mark.
Trying to make the best of the holidays, we put up the tree, and there were some presents for all of us under it. I spent as much time at Mom’s hospital room as possible. Her pain meds made my visits more tolerable. I washed her hair, taking care not to bother the areas near the halo pins.
On Christmas Eve we went to spend time with Mom, then went to church for the late service. The next day, after opening some presents, Dad made a nice breakfast of cheese eggs and home fries. We later brought Christmas to Mom—a little turkey dinner from the Edison Diner to enjoy in her hospital room, along with some presents. She really seemed to enjoy it all.
I spent the next couple of days at the hospital in-between running errands.
“Houston—we have a kick-ass marching band.”
I would not remain home in NJ for the entire break—I had the bowl trip. John drove out from western Pennsylvania to pick me up. I packed a few things and dropped them off at the hospital on our way to Route 287.
At that time, Mom relayed news from Dr. Wu that the cancer had further metastasized. We were all very upset and I didn’t want to leave. Mom still encouraged us on our way, and wished us a wonderful time in Texas. It was a difficult drive as we headed out to John’s house. We’d spend the night there and start for WVU in the morning.
Once at school, we had a day of intensive rehearsal, got the trip itinerary, and stayed at Tim’s apartment overnight.
The next couple of days entailed more rehearsal, including drill at the stadium. John and Tim had a pep band gig at the basketball game. Stan and I went to that game and then he dropped me at Tim’s.
We boarded the eight Central Cab buses bound for Pittsburgh International Airport early the next morning, on December 31, getting up at 2:30 AM. It was extremely cold, and the plane was delayed to be de-iced. My seat mate for the trip was a given.
It was an exhausting trek down to Houston, with rehearsing and all the logistics. We arrived at the plush Granada Royale, where the Mountaineer football team and staff also were staying.
At Halftime, John and I took the turf with our contemporaries. Our flashy, powerful performance which included a rendition of The Yellow Rose of Texas for our delighted hosts. This was complete with the formation of the Lone Star State. We entertained all within the Astrodome.
My favorite piece was the electrifying, spicy One More Time Chuck Corea.
“One More Time Chuck Corea”
WVU Band – One More Time Chuck Corea
The Mountaineer Marching Band was in da house.
As an ABC Sports camera moved to pan the lower tier during the second half, I lunged aside to be caught in the viewfinder, yelling “HI MOM!” I was later told that at that moment, on a tiny bedside TV at St. Peter’s Medical Center, Mom and Dad caught it—to Mom’s tears of joy.
The Mountaineers ran TCU right out of the Astrodome 31-14, Quarterback Kevin White passing for a career-high 280 yards and three touchdowns to earn game MVP honors. We’d kicked some Texas tail, and in hostile territory. The elegant “party-all-night” back at the hotel was a blast.
“No More Lonely Nights” by Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney – No More Lonely Nights
The song No More Lonely Nights by Paul McCartney instantly brings me back to that trip … snuggled with John by the window of the bus on the way back from Pittsburgh Airport, a frozen world passing outside. We were spent from the experience of traveling and performing.
We still had the rest of winter break, so we spent some time at John’s house, and then John ran me back home to Jersey to be with Mom. He’d return to PA the next day.
Mom had just received more news from Dr. Cunningham that the brace needed to be adjusted, so she had to return to Philadelphia as it was critical.
My poor mother. I tried to be supportive and help with more errands for her, and did the laundry.
I did manage to see some friends, and we went to the movies. Skip K, a friend from ASTA, called. I also visited Mark at his house in Edison. There was no kiss when we said goodnight, as there was during Thanksgiving break, but I felt no disappointment this time. John was in my heart and on my mind.
I went bowling and on the tractor-trailer with Dad, and also to a party at Anne’s (Steve K was just as flirty as in high school and kissed me twice). I also hung out with Joan and Leslie, getting caught up on what was going on with them.
I spent the final day of break with Mom, and she insisted on talking about wills now that her health was in obvious decline. She said “her years are limited.”
Deep down, I knew I had to face things. How difficult all of this must have been for her, having frank discussions in a way she hoped wouldn’t upset my studies, but would also put me on notice.
The next day, I spoke with Mom for an hour on the phone, then got ready for Matt. He picked me up at 2 and I was headed back at 85 MPH for the second semester of freshman year at WVU.
