{"id":914,"date":"2011-06-12T16:25:18","date_gmt":"2011-06-12T20:25:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=914"},"modified":"2025-02-26T15:05:31","modified_gmt":"2025-02-26T20:05:31","slug":"chapter-36-decisions","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=914","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 36: Decisions"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>Taking a Stand<\/h3>\n<p><strong>I had begun to pack my things and plan for a return to NJ for the summer.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>John was not in my plans, and I called him only occasionally.\u00a0I was still wearing his high school ring, but made this resolution: If when I left for summer John had still not affirmed his feelings for me (and <em>only <\/em>me) I was going to return his ring and head northeast with no regrets.<\/p>\n<p>This had gone on long enough.\u00a0A pop\/R&amp;B song from the time, <em>Girlfriend\u00a0<\/em>by Pebbles, featured lyrics including \u201c\u2026 I\u2019ve cried my last cry, <em>I\u2019M OUT THE DOOR BABE<\/em>\u2014there\u2019s other fish in the sea.\u201d It almost became a mantra of mine.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-9464 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\" alt=\"musicnotes-tiny\" width=\"50\" height=\"61\" \/><\/a>&#8220;Girlfriend&#8221; by Pebbles<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a id=\"mbmaplayer_1375884607132\" class=\"{skin:'black', animate:false, width:'120', volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Pebbles-Girlfriend1.mp3\">Pebbles &#8211; Girlfriend<\/a><textarea class=\"map_params\" style=\"display: block; padding: 3px; background: #444; color: #fff; text-decoration: none;\" disabled=\"disabled\">map :: {skin:&#8217;black&#8217;, animate:false, width:&#8217;120&#8242;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}<\/textarea><\/p>\n<p>Sensing this, John did profess his fidelity. There was nothing between him and this Susan, it was just a passing fancy, and nothing had happened in Baltimore.\u00a0He was emphatic in his declarations. I explained that I would not &#8230;\u00a0<strong><em>could<\/em> <\/strong>not endure this again.<\/p>\n<p>One sunny, balmy morning in mid-May, I was on 48 East in my loaded Chrysler Laser, and John\u2019s AMC coupe was right behind me. And so ended the crisis.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_4121\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4121\" style=\"width: 335px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-4121\" title=\"Revlon in Edison, NJ\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/revlon-building.jpg\" alt=\"Revlon in Edison, NJ\" width=\"335\" height=\"209\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/revlon-building.jpg 390w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/revlon-building-300x186.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-4121\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Revlon in Edison, NJ<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>John re-established housing back at Mrs. Grogan\u2019s, and we both immediately set out for summer work.\u00a0I attended training to sell <em>CUTCO<\/em> Cutlery, but decided that commission-based door-to-door sales wasn\u2019t for me.\u00a0An old high school friend, Rich W was in the same training. Back in HS, he\u2019d had a crush on me. He seemed pleasantly surprised to see me again.<\/p>\n<p>I left Vector Marketing after the first day, and soon landed a temp job in the Revlon administration building on Route 27 in Edison through an agency. Though I enjoyed the placement, it was short-lived because the person I was replacing returned.<\/p>\n<p>On the same property, the Revlon manufacturing plant was advertising summer openings for machine operator and light assembly.\u00a0I went right over and applied.\u00a0I spent the next two months in a green smock, first running a few lipstick cap and bottle-decorating machines, then over in Fragrances stuffing boxes with newly-sealed bottles of various scents, including <em>Jontue<\/em>, <em>Charlie<\/em> and <em>Enjoli<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Every night, I came home reeking, often sporting a headache. I didn\u2019t mind\u2014it was a low-stress and fairly secure way to make some cash, and my mind was free to dream of John all day as the machines hummed.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-9464 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\" alt=\"musicnotes-tiny\" width=\"50\" height=\"61\" \/><\/a>\u00a0&#8220;Knocked Out&#8221; by Paula Abdul<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a id=\"mbmaplayer_1375884650619\" class=\"{skin:'black', animate:false, width:'120', volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Paula-Abdul-Knocked-Out.mp3\">Paula Abdul &#8211; Knocked Out<\/a><textarea class=\"map_params\" style=\"display: block; padding: 3px; background: #444; color: #fff; text-decoration: none;\" disabled=\"disabled\">map :: {skin:&#8217;black&#8217;, animate:false, width:&#8217;120&#8242;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}<\/textarea><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_6777\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6777\" style=\"width: 335px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-6777\" title=\"Milli Vanilli\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Milli-Vanilli-300x196.jpg\" alt=\"Milli Vanilli\" width=\"335\" height=\"220\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Milli-Vanilli-300x196.jpg 300w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Milli-Vanilli-600x393.jpg 600w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Milli-Vanilli.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-6777\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;Frontmen&#8221;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>There were others\u2014Bill, Jeff, Tom and Zack who joked around with me, coming around to visit during our shift and having lunch together.\u00a0I enjoyed all the attention, but I was secure in the love of my boyfriend and gently rebuffed their advances.<\/p>\n<p>Why these guys were gravitating toward me, I didn&#8217;t know\u2014but hell, was it fun.\u00a0Though tempted, in the wake of what John and I had just weathered, the titillation turned to resolution that I would not further jeopardize our relationship.<\/p>\n<p>John began talking of marriage that summer.<\/p>\n<h3>Make or Break?<\/h3>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-4123\" title=\"MALSM Logo\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/MALSM-logo.jpg\" alt=\"MALSM Logo\" width=\"340\" height=\"308\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In June, there was a weekend MALSM gathering at the University of Delaware, and we motored down in my Laser on Friday night.<\/p>\n<p>We knew this Susan would be there, and John told me he wanted to take this opportunity to tell her he loved me, and there would be nothing between them.<\/p>\n<p>She arrived on Saturday, and after a day spent on the Delaware campus, we all returned to the house where everyone was crashing for the weekend.\u00a0We knew this would be the time when John and Susan would \u201ctake a walk\u201d.\u00a0After they left, I remained inside watching TV with Martin and a few others, nervously talking it over. They said not to worry; John would get it over with and be back soon.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5439\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5439\" style=\"width: 335px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5439\" title=\"John had the Plan\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-op-shirt-337x600.jpg\" alt=\"John had the Plan\" width=\"335\" height=\"596\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-op-shirt-337x600.jpg 337w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-op-shirt-168x300.jpg 168w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-op-shirt.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5439\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">John had the Plan<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>They were gone for over an hour. When John returned, he said he\u2019d spoken his piece and Susan was fine with it.\u00a0He reaffirmed his love and devotion to me, and that he intended to marry me some day.<\/p>\n<p>That night all of us went bowling in town, John sucking down a flask of Jack Daniel\u2019s on the sly the entire evening.\u00a0By the time we got back to the house he was so hammered he couldn\u2019t walk straight.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019d been in a wild mood since that afternoon&#8217;s stroll, so I assumed the nature of this little rampage bordered on the rebellious. I slept next to him that night, holding him, petrified that he might have drank just a <em>leeedle<\/em> too much.<\/p>\n<p>We drove home the next day, John slumped in the passenger seat, nursing a king-sized hangover. I was afraid he\u2019d toss it in my car, but fortunately that didn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n<p>An interesting summer, 1988.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-9464 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\" alt=\"musicnotes-tiny\" width=\"50\" height=\"61\" \/><\/a>&#8220;Nothing Can Come Between Us&#8221; by Sade<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a id=\"mbmaplayer_1375884681638\" class=\"{skin:'black', animate:false, width:'120', volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Sade-Nothing-Can-Come-Between-Us.mp3\">Sade &#8211; Nothing Can Come Between Us<\/a><textarea class=\"map_params\" style=\"display: block; padding: 3px; background: #444; color: #fff; text-decoration: none;\" disabled=\"disabled\">map :: {skin:&#8217;black&#8217;, animate:false, width:&#8217;120&#8242;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}<\/textarea><\/p>\n<h3>&#8220;Some day&#8230;&#8221;<\/h3>\n<p>During one trip out to visit John\u2019s family, John announced that we were most likely going to get engaged sometime in the near future, and that was quite well-received.<\/p>\n<p>Later in the summer, John also made a point to formally ask my father for his blessing. Dad obliged with a jovial handshake\u2014\u201cI couldn\u2019t imagine Lori marrying anyone else.\u201d There was no doubting the quality of his future son-in-law.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5775\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5775\" style=\"width: 335px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5775\" title=\"John and Dad\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-dad-70th-251x300.jpg\" alt=\"John and Dad\" width=\"335\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-dad-70th-251x300.jpg 251w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-dad-70th-502x600.jpg 502w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/john-dad-70th.jpg 831w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5775\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;Of course!&#8221;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Somehow, John managed to coordinate his college timeline with mine.\u00a0Originally, he\u2019d transferred to WVU in 1984, after two years of political science at California U. of Pa. Upon transferring and a change of major to psychology, he\u2019d lost most of his credits.<\/p>\n<p>Had everything progressed as expected from that point, he would have graduated college in May 1988.<\/p>\n<p>As a music education major, student teaching added a semester to complete my credit requirements, so the earliest I could graduate would have been the following December.<\/p>\n<p>Though John would never admit to this, his parents knew the score. This made it easier for us to coordinate life after college and avoid separation.<\/p>\n<p>Dad decided to redecorate the living and dining rooms, and I helped him shop for pretty sky blue paint, matching window treatments, carpeting and comfy furniture. I did most of the painting myself, and once done, everything looked great. Gone were the \u201870s \u201cearth tones\u201d from the previous d\u00e9cor change, in 1974.<\/p>\n<p>I gave two weeks\u2019 notice at my job to go to ASTA, and said good bye to all my new friends (and male admirers) at Revlon.\u00a0One guy, Jeff told me I really had an effect on him in the short time I was there. Bill said he&#8217;d miss me.<\/p>\n<p>By mid-August, we were preparing for our final semester at WVU. With no band camp, and our living arrangements in place, we didn\u2019t have to drive down until the weekend just before classes started.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a title=\"Chapter 37: Wrapping Up the WVU Era\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=926\">Chapter 37: Wrapping Up the WVU Era<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-13050\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/drum-avatar-thumbnail-sm.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"75\" height=\"75\" \/> <a title=\"Return to Memoirs\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=13681\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Return to Chapters<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Taking a Stand I had begun to pack my things and plan for a return to NJ for the summer. John was not in my plans, and I called him only occasionally.\u00a0I was still wearing his high school ring, but made this resolution: If when I left for summer John had still not affirmed his &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=914\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Chapter 36: Decisions&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5438,"parent":4,"menu_order":37,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-914","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=914"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/914\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17169,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/914\/revisions\/17169"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}