{"id":964,"date":"2011-06-12T17:01:06","date_gmt":"2011-06-12T21:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=964"},"modified":"2025-06-30T21:44:17","modified_gmt":"2025-07-01T01:44:17","slug":"chapter-42-first-year-no-sweat","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=964","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 42: First Year &#8230; No Sweat"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3>Our New Life Together<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5789\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5789\" style=\"width: 335px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5789\" title=\"Looking toward our balcony\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/apartment-589x600.jpg\" alt=\"Looking toward our balcony\" width=\"335\" height=\"341\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/apartment-589x600.jpg 589w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/apartment-294x300.jpg 294w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/apartment.jpg 863w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5789\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Looking toward our balcony<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><strong>The night we returned from the cruise, John carried me over the threshold <\/strong>of Apartment G-10, Fresh Ponds Village.<\/p>\n<p>We went through our wedding gifts and soaked up the reality that we were finally living in our own little place.\u00a0The spacious, modern apartment was quiet and held a peacefulness that seemed to say \u201cWelcome home.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Later the following week, I returned to work and my coworkers immediately surrounded me with questions and looking for pictures and souvenirs. I was delighted to tell them all about the wedding and honeymoon.<\/p>\n<p>I began the process of changing my name and address on all necessary documentation. I retained my maiden name as a middle name. John&#8217;s was added at the end. Just because I was now married did not erase my own family name.<\/p>\n<p>I started writing out the Thank You cards right away, including a tiny snapshot from that day.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-9464 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\" alt=\"musicnotes-tiny\" width=\"50\" height=\"61\" \/><\/a>&#8220;Can&#8217;t Stop&#8221; One World Remix by After 7<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a id=\"mbmaplayer_1375886023773\" class=\"{skin:'black', animate:false, width:'120', volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/After-7-Cant-Stop-One-World-Remix.mp3\">After 7 &#8211; Can&#8217;t Stop (One World Remix)<\/a><textarea class=\"map_params\" style=\"display: block; padding: 3px; background: #444; color: #fff; text-decoration: none;\" disabled=\"disabled\">map :: {skin:&#8217;black&#8217;, animate:false, width:&#8217;120&#8242;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}<\/textarea><\/p>\n<p>I named this chapter &#8220;First Year &#8230; No Sweat&#8221; because I&#8217;ve heard countless declarations that the first year of marriage is such a difficult and emotionally chaotic time for newlyweds. This was not so for us.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;d been looking forward to having a place to ourselves for so long that we were simply ecstatic that it had finally come true. Living together in our apartment was pleasant and idyllic.\u00a0With <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zillow.com\/b\/princeton-orchards-apartments-dayton-nj-5Xqgpz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">tennis courts, a swimming pool, woodsy surroundings and quiet setting<\/a>, life there resembled a perpetual vacation in its serenity.<\/p>\n<p>We settled into a nice routine of work, friends, family and activities.\u00a0 We eagerly anticipated the holidays, the first spent in our own place and as husband and wife.<\/p>\n<p>Music from this happy time in my life includes <em>Can&#8217;t Stop<\/em>\u00a0(One World 12&#8243; Mix) by After 7, <em>Take Your Time<\/em> by Mantronix, and <em>Vogue<\/em> by Madonna.<\/p>\n<h3>Mega machine<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5805\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5805\" style=\"width: 335px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5805\" title=\"Our First Computer\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/1st-computer2-480x600.jpg\" alt=\"Our First Computer\" width=\"335\" height=\"418\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/1st-computer2-480x600.jpg 480w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/1st-computer2-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/1st-computer2.jpg 863w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5805\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Our First Computer<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>John and I got our first computer, a \u201cloaded\u201d secondhand IBM-compatible 286 with 40 MB of RAM and a 15\u201d \u201csuper VGA\u201d monitor. We thought it was the coolest thing since Pac-Man.<\/p>\n<p>Included were WordPerfect and Lotus 1-2-3 that resembled DOS in appearance and the graphics and sound capabilities were rather crude by today\u2019s standards. We set up shop in our spare bed\/TV room with a computer desk and our \u201cnew\u201d machine, and explored its features. John developed a real knack for personal computing, and it&#8217;s no surprise his career eventually leaned that way.<\/p>\n<p>The World Wide Web was barely known; there was no high-speed cable modem or DSL or CD-ROM &#8230; just two floppy drives. We wouldn&#8217;t dial up to America Online for a couple more years.<\/p>\n<p>We soon received our wedding pictures and VHS video and made choices for the photo albums. We got a kick out of viewing the professionally done video, reliving that wonderful day. I would eventually have the wedding and honeymoon VHS tapes converted to DVD when the technology became available.<\/p>\n<h3>Anne, Doug, and Rosie<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5799\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5799\" style=\"width: 700px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5799\" title=\"Anne, Doug, Rosie\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/anne-doug-rosie-600x379.jpg\" alt=\"Anne, Doug, Rosie\" width=\"700\" height=\"443\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/anne-doug-rosie-600x379.jpg 600w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/anne-doug-rosie-300x189.jpg 300w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/anne-doug-rosie.jpg 1284w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5799\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Anne, Doug, and their beautiful first child Rosie. Photo was taken in the mid-1990s.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This is a recording of Rosie singing &#8220;The First Noel.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-9464 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"50\" height=\"61\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8220;The First Noel&#8221; by Rosie<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a id=\"mbmaplayer_1375886053463\" class=\"{skin:&#039;black&#039;, animate:false, width:&#039;120&#039;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/The_First_Noel_Rosie.mp3\">Rosie &#8211; The First Noel<\/a><textarea class=\"map_params\" style=\"display: block; padding: 3px; background: #444; color: #fff; text-decoration: none;\" disabled=\"disabled\">map :: {skin:&#8217;black&#8217;, animate:false, width:&#8217;120&#8242;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}<\/textarea><\/p>\n<p>In October, my friend Anne married her college soul mate, Doug.\u00a0 I was in the bridal party, and we wore long, \u00a0iridescent plum gowns.\u00a0As she had stood up for me, I was only too happy to do the same.<\/p>\n<p>Her parade of wedding-related activities reminded me of my own, just months before.\u00a0 For the first time, I wasn\u2019t in the bouquet toss lineup, and John couldn\u2019t go for the garter either.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" size-full wp-image-9464 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/musicnotes-tiny.gif\" alt=\"musicnotes-tiny\" width=\"50\" height=\"61\" \/><\/a>&#8220;Respect&#8221; by Adeva<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a id=\"mbmaplayer_1375886053463\" class=\"{skin:&#039;black&#039;, animate:false, width:&#039;120&#039;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/Adeva-Respect.mp3\">Adeva &#8211; Respect<\/a><textarea class=\"map_params\" style=\"display: block; padding: 3px; background: #444; color: #fff; text-decoration: none;\" disabled=\"disabled\">map :: {skin:&#8217;black&#8217;, animate:false, width:&#8217;120&#8242;, volume:0.2, autoplay:false, loop:false, showVolumeLevel:true, showTime:true, showRew:true, downloadable:false, downloadablesecurity:false, id3: false}<\/textarea><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_5800\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5800\" style=\"width: 335px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-5800\" title=\"Our First christmas\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/first-christmas-468x600.jpg\" alt=\"Our First Christmas\" width=\"335\" height=\"429\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/first-christmas-468x600.jpg 468w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/first-christmas-234x300.jpg 234w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/first-christmas.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 335px) 100vw, 335px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-5800\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Our First Christmas<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Unfortunately, later in the fall Dad\u2019s first cousin Jimmy ended his life upstairs in the family home on Grafton Avenue in Newark.\u00a0This sent a shockwave through the family, devastating his siblings and parents, Aunt Gerri and Uncle Edmund.\u00a0 We had visited him, on life support, but couldn\u2019t deny the inevitable.<\/p>\n<p>As members of the Adult Choir, we hosted the annual Christmas party at our apartment.<\/p>\n<p>Since Dad hadn\u2019t been using the artificial tree and decorations in the four years following Mom&#8217;s passing away, we asked if we could borrow it. So, it ended up in our new living room, by the sliding glass doors to the balcony, decked out once more for another Christmas season.<\/p>\n<p>The holidays for the first time as a married couple were fun.\u00a0 We hosted our first Thanksgiving dinner at the apartment, inviting Dad and Steve, and this would continue for may years. We shopped for presents for each other, and were part of the Christmas Eve music program at church.<\/p>\n<p>Before bed that night, we lit a candle and read from the Book of Luke while sipping eggnog.\u00a0 The 1990 holidays began cherished traditions that would evolve for years following.<\/p>\n<h3>Discord in the Middle East<\/h3>\n<figure id=\"attachment_11969\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11969\" style=\"width: 345px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-11969\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/time-middleeast-228x300.jpg\" alt=\"\u00a9 TIME USA, LLC. All rights reserved.\" width=\"345\" height=\"455\" srcset=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/time-middleeast-228x300.jpg 228w, https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/time-middleeast.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 345px) 100vw, 345px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11969\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">\u00a9 TIME USA, LLC. All rights reserved.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Gulf_War\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">January 1991 brought the Gulf War<\/a> (<em>Operation Desert Storm<\/em>).\u00a0 The United States deployed personnel to the Middle East in response to Saddam Hussein\u2019s Iraqi forces\u2019 invasion of Kuwait.<\/p>\n<p>The war did not last very long, but for the first time I observed real-time war footage on TV.\u00a0 It boggled my mind to witness this, and felt sorrow for the innocent civilians caught in the shuffle.<\/p>\n<p>Though successful in our venture, the U.S. would later be widely criticized for its political motives in the \u201cdefense of Kuwait\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>It was a time when Saddam Hussein\u2019s regime was emerging as a global threat, in its ruthless support of ethnic killings and destruction. (<a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Operation_Red_Dawn\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">He would be captured, tried and hanged in 2003<\/a> under <em>Operation Red Dawn<\/em>.)<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a title=\"Chapter 43: Work Changes\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=1483\">Chapter 43: Work Changes<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-13050\" src=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/drum-avatar-thumbnail-sm.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"75\" height=\"75\" \/> <a title=\"Return to Memoirs\" href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=13681\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Return to Chapters<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our New Life Together The night we returned from the cruise, John carried me over the threshold of Apartment G-10, Fresh Ponds Village. We went through our wedding gifts and soaked up the reality that we were finally living in our own little place.\u00a0The spacious, modern apartment was quiet and held a peacefulness that seemed &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/?page_id=964\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Chapter 42: First Year &#8230; No Sweat&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14168,"parent":4,"menu_order":43,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-964","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/964","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=964"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/964\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17908,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/964\/revisions\/17908"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/adrummergirlslife.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=964"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}