Chapter 38: Work and Wedding Plans

Life Beyond

We immediately immersed ourselves in finding full-time work.

Convocation invitation

I soon received the Convocation Invitation from the WVU College of Creative Arts.

Since I’d already moved home and was working full-time, I was unable to attend my graduation.

My diploma arrived soon after, and I had it framed. This Music Education major is forever grateful for that diploma.

I drafted two resumes, one for education and the other for clerical work, to expand my employment possibilities.

musicnotes-tiny“Do You Really Want Me (Ben Liebrand Remix)”
by Salt ‘n Pepa

Salt ‘n Pepa – Do You Really Want Me (Ben Liebrand Mix)

I went on an interview at the Training School for Boys in the Jamesburg area, meeting staff and some very talented students. I didn’t think it a good fit, however.

With no appropriate teaching positions available at the time, I ended up being hired as an account representative at Cellular One, a mobile phone company in Iselin owned by Philadelphia-based Comcast.

My fiancé found work as a service technician trainee at Miele Appliances in Somerset, NJ. Thus, now employed in fields not even remotely resembling anything we’d studied over the past four-odd years, we began saving and planning for our future together.

Thanks to Dad’s generosity, John had again been allowed to temporarily use the spare bed down in the family room while he sought a semi-permanent place to hang his hat.

John’s crash pad

The Mallorys
The Mallorys

Fortunately, my former 6th grade teacher Kathy Coady (with whom I’d kept in touch over the years) referred us to a dear friend of hers, Donna Mallory.

The Mallorys rented two of the rooms in their home to boarders, who were treated as family. The ideal solution had just presented itself! John moved into the cozy, tastefully-decorated corner room upstairs at Casa Mallory, and was immediately embraced into their warm and loving fold.

I spent lots of time there over the next year and a half, attending dinners and family gatherings, and we all remained friends for many years until their passing in 2017 and 2019.

New car

John's Cars
That AMC made it possible for us to see each other during college breaks and got us there… great car!

That spring, John traded in his dedicated workhorse 1982 AMC Spirit for a medium-shadow blue 1989 Ford Mustang LX.

We chose the base model because that represented the difference between a possible honeymoon cruise to the Mexican Riviera and going somewhere a lot less exotic.

As we drove out of the lot in the new car, we passed the family who had bought the AMC. We smiled, wishing them the best of luck.

Our wedding plans were underway— we researched banquet halls and caterers, music, flowers, etc. with a little over a year to go before the wedding.

Post-College Roommate Dynamics

Living at home for me at times presented a challenge. With Mom gone nearly three years, the house had morphed into a veritable bachelor pad in my absence at WVU. Acclimating to life with an actively dating father and an adult brother who spent most of his time sleeping or partying at all hours proved extremely taxing.

musicnotes-tinyAudio clip: “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star
Mazzy Star – Fade Into You

I felt uncomfortable when Dad brought his girlfriends around (though not overnight, to his credit) because they were so close to my own age. He also voiced obsolete double-standards about daughters, yet sons could sow anywhere, anytime and anyhow. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Dad either, as we probably just needed to communicate. So I sat down with him a couple of times, and there was some common ground established.

Aunt LaVerne and Uncle Jim
Aunt LaVerne and Uncle Jim

My brother typically smoked in his room and played loud music, making noise on the other side of the wall. He quashed any chance for a peaceful retreat in my own bedroom after a day’s work.

So, John and I ended up spending quite a bit of time out with friends, at his place or snuggling with a pitcher of Coors and a Nacho Sampler at the Chi-Chi’s Cantina.

The prospect of having our own place grew infinitely more enticing as our wedding crept ever closer. To get away, we took a few trips out to western Pennsylvania to see John’s family, and it was nice to escape from the stress. John’s Aunt LaVerne and Uncle Jim were especially excited for us, and had always been so sweet to me.

Bridal Party Snafus

We began asking people to stand up for us as attendants. A particularly heated altercation one night with my brother purged him from formal involvement in said event.

John's dad and mom
John’s dad and mom would host the rehearsal dinner

At that time, he had been demonstrating a complete, insufferable lack of respect and an arrogance toward me that clearly was unfounded and inappropriate. He was out of the wedding party, and he showed no remorse.

It was unfortunate; however, being included in a wedding is a privilege—not a birthright. I decided I did want him to be a part of it, but wasn’t sure in what capacity as of yet.

We filled our bridal party with close friends and cousins, with inevitable snags. When I asked my cousin Donna, her mother, Aunt Marietta begged me to include her sister Johnine as well. To avoid hard feelings, I relented and asked her too, and she excitedly accepted.

musicnotes-tiny“Come On, Let’s Move It” by Special Ed
Special Ed – Come On, Let’s Move It

Me at Cellular One
Delivering top-notch assistance to my customers. Dropped calls? No problem.

Reflecting with today’s maturity and experience, I should have politely stuck to my guns, because that affected John’s usher plans. My aunt had no business making such a request and it rightfully annoyed me.

Not long following, Johnine decided she absolutely had to get married to her on-again-off-again boyfriend of nine years (she’d been engaged to the same guy once in the mid-’80s, but that had fallen through).

She planned her wedding for just six weeks after mine. She then asked her sister Donna to be her matron of honor.

Naturally, this created a conflict for Donna, who was forced to choose between weddings, and I certainly didn’t begrudge her dropping out of mine. Well, that of course complicated my bridesmaid plans, as both sisters then had to withdraw.

With Love From John
With Love From John

An industrial-sized wrench had been tossed into our carefully-orchestrated affair. John and I had dated all through college, built a secure foundation together, got engaged, graduated and then took the next logical step.

All the meticulous planning on my part to wed a man I truly loved was to be logistically compromised. Not only did we have to  revamp the attendants’ roster, but TWO family weddings within a period of six weeks are bound to strain any guest’s pocketbook. My father was very upset about this and let his feelings be known to the family.

John wasn’t without his hassles, as there were a couple of glitches with friends and cousins.

John’s original Best Man, a friend from college in WV, couldn’t honor the commitment because of work obligations (we knew asking him would be a long shot due to distance). John then asked his “New Jersey best friend” Paul who accepted, to our delight.

John had also asked his cousin Karen from Washington, D.C., who initially accepted to be a bridesmaid but had to drop out, though she would attend the wedding itself.

After some shuffling, a smaller group of a perfect size remained. My cousin Mona was Matron of Honor, along with my friends Anne and Mo as bridesmaids. Paul was Best Man, and my cousin John (Uncle Johnny’s eldest son) and Mike, Mona’s husband, were groomsmen.

Anticipation of a Wedding

Renaissance Hotels & Resorts logo

In retrospect, how I wish the Internet existed when I was planning our wedding. Extensive legwork, travel and phone calls were involved, when today I’d accomplish so much more, and faster via a click. My notes and receipts and calendar were all on paper.

We had to drive to see venues and entertainers—there were no Web sites to assist with logistics. Some streaming video, slideshow tours, email and online inquiry forms would have come in quite handy throughout this venture.

John and I booked the gorgeous, brand-new high-rise Ramada Renaissance Hotel at Tower Center in East Brunswick (now the Hilton) for our reception.

We employed Preludes in Rochelle Park, NJ, a one-stop wedding detail organizer. This covered the photographer, videographer, invitations, Thank You cards and flowers.

Bart Simpson: "Eat my shorts, man"
I had this on a tee. Wore it the first day of our honeymoon. To complement: John’s shirt “Don’t have a cow, man”

Following a live demonstration, we dropped a deposit on the Jerry Rose Orchestra, a multiple-piece band with great stage presence and wide repertoire. I also planned to submit to them a tape of the three “First Dance” selections because no band on earth can adequately duplicate the Beatles, Percy Faith’s Orchestra, or Glenn Miller.

On June 23, 1989, I received a big surprise at the office: six red roses, with the card reading “Just One Year to Go, Love John.” If I hadn’t built up my fiancé enough by then, this sealed it for my coworkers.

I settled into office life as the summer wore on, developing great relationships.

I went to the ASTA conference in August, and John and I missed each other. He sent roses to me during the week, which just puffed me up with happiness. I was happy when he came down to Glassboro on Friday night to party with the counselors. They all hit it off so well that I started a successful campaign to get John on as a counselor for the following year, and everyone was on board with this.

Mid-1989 hits include Wild Thing and Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc, Keep On Movin’ by Soul II Soul, and Another Day in Paradise by Phil Collins.

musicnotes-tiny“Another Day In Paradise” by Phil Collins

Phil Collins – Another Day In Paradise

The Year of the Wedding!

As 1990 approached, John and I continued hammering at wedding plans and socking our money into the affair as well as his rent and new car. We grabbed every spare moment to be together, ducking into our respective bedrooms whenever privacy allowed. It was a delicious time of anticipation, and we counted down the months.

One of Farrell's famous sundaes
One of Farrell’s famous sundaes

Soon after the New Year, our bridesmaid posse went out for dresses one Saturday.

Aunt Dee-Dee came down for the day, and joined Mona, Anne, Mo and me on our hunt for The Perfect Frock. We quickly found a below-the-knee one-piece spaghetti-strap pastel floral with bolero jacket (Mona, as Matron of Honor, would wear the solid aqua).

They were smart, un-frumpy, feminine and an overall hit with all of us. We had lunch at Farrell’s in the Brunswick Square Mall. Afterward, we also picked up shoes, and arranged for the dyeing. It was a fun day out for us girls.

Not long following our outing for bridesmaid attire, my cousin Johnine called me asking to again be included in my bridal party. I politely explained that everything was in place and there would be no further changes.

Early 1990 jams on the airwaves were All Around the World by Lisa Stansfield, Groove is In the Heart by Deee-Lite and Good Life by Inner City.

Finding a New Home

Our Floor Plan
Fresh Ponds Village Floor Plan

We began scouting the area for apartments that spring, and located a lovely 2-BR 1 ½ bath place in Dayton (tour here), with a balcony overlooking a pond. The complex had a beautiful setting, with two ponds and recreation facilities. It was a great fit.

We signed the lease and reserved it for June 2. The loan came through, so I began depleting my savings account for expenses such as the security deposit for the apartment, caterer, band, etc. I was able to finance the honeymoon, furniture and then some. Money was now flying at an alarming rate, but we had it covered.

With the dimensions of the apartment in mind, we began to order furniture. In a weekend, we found a bedroom set, dinette, light fixtures, sectional sofa and a wall unit, all paid in cash. We could hardly believe that we were mere WEEKS from sharing a home together!

Chapter 39: Bride-To-Be Fun

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