Mom the Dynamo
Mom was still working for the pediatrician, and also gained experience with the preemies in the NICU at St. Peter’s.
She decided to pursue certification that would enable her to teach Lamaze prepared childbirth, as being around the new babies and happy parents brought her so much joy. She began intensive training and months later completed the necessary case studies and exams to achieve certification.
She continued cancer treatments, including chemotherapy, cobalt and radiation to keep the monster in check. But she worked harder than ever before, and she loved teaching so much because it allowed her to “act out all her show-business fantasies.”
Mom’s signature now included “R.N., A.C.C.E” (ASPO Certified Childbirth Educator). ASPO is an acronym for American Society for Psychoprophylaxis in Obstetrics.
She was so good at what she did that couples began to request placement in her classes. She received many invitations to their welcome-home-baby parties as well, a couple of which I attended with her.
“Don’t Stop the Music” by Yarbrough and Peoples
Yarbrough and Peoples – Don’t Stop The Music
Mom was there for my violin lessons, auditions, rehearsals and concerts. She took Steven to his soccer games, karate class and monitored his academic progress with his teachers. She was fully involved with school, church and everything else concerning us kids. We went on interesting and fun outings, including a visit to Thomas Edison’s West Orange lab.
We also went to a Rutgers basketball game at the Athletic Center. Mom’s wit was apparent when during an arena-wide chant of “R-U! R-U!” she turned around and declared, “Aren’t we glad this isn’t Fordham?”
She was an enthusiastic devotee of the arts and comedy, gathering us by the TV to watch intriguing programs like Vision On and The Muppet Show. She loved SCTV and Saturday Night Live, and one of her favorite skits was Belushi’s “Cheebooger! Cheebooger! Pepsi! Pepsi!”
We also saw amazing performances by Shields and Yarnell and Mummenschanz. Had Mom lived, I am convinced she would have adored Pixar’s work.
Mom, naturally curious about other faiths, went to Temple with her friend Florence a few times and even hosted a Jewish Seder at our church. We also went to one up in Belleville the spring of 1979 when we went to see cousin Nanette, just before “Fetus” (Joseph) was born.
At times, she was sick from chemo and had to remain in bed a couple of days, but she’d bounce right back and dive into life again. Mom even crocheted warm booties for the sick elderly people at the Pine Brook Nursing Home. What an example my mother was. She was tireless.
Mom also would go out with her women friends Florence Schiffman, Judy Moss, Marilyn Jackson and Marge Sullivan. As a child, I saw my mommy having not only a family, but a career and social life as well. It showed me that a woman CAN have it all.
The cancer was always an undercurrent, and its presence made her involvement in everything seem all the more impressive.
Money 101
Mom also kept me in the fray, to an extent, of how the family finances worked. She taught me how to write a check to pay a bill, and we’d go to the bank to make a deposit. I got my own passbook savings account. I observed how she gathered the necessary paperwork for tax preparation. I also learned how to draft a business letter, and was already an old pro at handwritten Thank You notes by then. She brought me along when she voted in an election.
I had an “allowance”, but I had to earn it. There were a series of weekly jobs and once they were complete, I’d receive a fixed amount. This taught me that money is not available for the asking; it must be earned. We heard the word “no” when necessary.
Sometimes we got a bit of extra money. These little windfalls might come in the form of Dad winning a pot at bowling, or maybe he earned some overtime at work. We might then go out for a steak at the Rustler, head out to the movies, or go down the shore for a Stuff Yer Face. This taught me that sometimes, extra cash might mean a treat was in order. Life was about more than just work.
“Miss Sun” by Boz Skaggs
January 1980 brought indisputable proof I was “becoming a woman”. Since Mom was working at the hospital the evening it happened, I had the wildly good fortune of having to ask my dad to drive me to Shop-Rite for feminine protection.
Lucky me—my brother came along for the ride. “So what are we getting?” he asked.
“Uh … um … Band Aids?”
I called Mom at work and she was all tickled about it.
Mom often took me out to the movies, to “paint the town”, just as she and Grandmommy had years ago. She called this “making memories”.
We’d go out to dinner at Kumquat or Twin Joy for Chinese food, and then hit the theater. We took in movies of increasingly mature subject matter, including Kramer vs. Kramer, On Golden Pond, Coming Home, Foul Play, and Tootsie.
We’d often shared thought-provoking and well-done made-for-TV features such as Shogun, The Thorn Birds, and Backstairs at the White House.
In February, we eighth graders at Hammarskjold Jr. High boarded four cruisers and headed down for a three-day trip to Williamsburg, VA. Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd was popular.
It was so cold outside that I didn’t really enjoy the tours of the Colonial area, but hanging out with my roommates Joanna S, Sue M, and Celine S was fun.
I missed Mom so much that I bought her a little stuffed hen in a souvenir shop (she’d always affectionately called me “chicken”).
The night I got back, Mom picked me up at school at 11 PM. Hour be damned, we went over to the Colonial Diner for hot cocoa and woman talk, and she heard all about my trip. She really appreciated the stuffed hen, which we named “Mama Chick”. I have it today.
Eighth Grade Wrap-Up
That winter, I also got to witness a most interesting event. My pet mouse Mouschi was expecting, and I so wanted to see her have the babies. One night, I awoke and decided to go downstairs to check the cage. There she was, in the middle of the birth process, with a couple of little pink hairless lumps already snuggled next to her. It was a wondrous sight.
I also got to see them grow, gingerly attending to feeding the mom and trying to keep the cage clean.
“Desire” by Andy Gibb
I would later give the baby mice away to kids from school; one day Marc P. came to take a couple of them.
One snowy day, I went on the Tractor-Trailer with Dad and we had a “double” to Allentown (two no-touch hauls out to the Kraft warehouse in eastern PA).
It was snowing hard, and at one point we stopped at the Dunkin’ Donuts on Route 22. The song Guilty by Barry Gibb and Barbra Streisand was playing on the truck radio.
Dad despised driving in the snow, especially considering his responsibility for such a huge vehicle was magnified in such precarious conditions. While I was having fun in the passenger seat, his concentration was acute.
In the spring 1980 I still regarded M. with interest, but by that time he was forced to share mental airtime with Greg Evigan.
Popular songs included Twilight Zone by Manhattan Transfer, Take Your Time by the SOS Band, The Cars by Gary Numan, Love Is Like Oxygen by Sweet, Desire by Andy Gibb, and Ring My Bell by Anita Ward.
Confirmation
In May, I attended a three-day retreat at Camp Beisler with my confirmation class. Of course, there was the requisite “snipe hunt” and other harmless pranks, s’mores, and youth group activities with a spiritual lesson.
Just before confirmation, I was out of school sick with a whopping case of hives and some kind of virus. That Sunday, I was still feeling sort of sickly but was confirmed by Pastor Scudieri with everyone else as my family looked on in the congregation.
To celebrate the occasion, Mom and Dad took us to a special dinner show at Club Bene’.
We saw actor Shelley Berman in Fiddler on the Roof, and I remember having a wonderful time despite not feeling well.
I didn’t know who Shelley Berman was, but his performance was outstanding. I got my program autographed and a nice selfie with the star of the show.
Magic by Olivia Newton-John and Barbra Streisand’s Woman in Love were popular. The Beat Goes On by the Whispers, Stomp by The Brothers Johnson, and Lady (You Bring Me Up) by the Commodores remind me of going bowling with Dad on Sundays around that time.
Anything from the Police’s Synchronicity reminds me of junior high in general.
That summer of 1980, Dad rented a small U-Haul trailer, and he took Mr. Scuorzo and Steve down to Delaware to Papa’s house.
With Grandmommy no longer with us, Papa really had no use for her beautiful Lowrey organ. Dad and Mr. S busted butt to get that thing up the stairs into the living room, where it stayed until the house was sold in the late ‘90s. Its eventual fate is unknown.
“Stomp” by The Brothers Johnson
I was delighted to have the organ. I did some simple improv and went through a few basic lessons that summer but never got the hang of it. Steven ended up using it for its rhythm and cassette tape features.
Dad and I also painted the front of the house a deeper blue that summer, including the trim of the white shutters.
We were going to take a short trip to Washington, DC as a family but that was cancelled for some reason.
i remember when your mouse had the babies!!! i love reading about your mother…..she was a great mom! i also remembered monique, once i read about her a few chapters back…and i remember how spoiled she was too…lol. oh, and club bene…they had the best buffet.
I was so excited when that mouse had the babies. Even mom, who was at first against our having mice as pets, adjusted to this idea and found it interesting as well. Wonder where Monique is, and how she’s doing. 😎
Your mom was one of the most caring, loving, forgiving people I have had the blessing to know. I thank God for her, and for her creative, caring family.
Thank you, Pastor. She so enjoyed serving at CMLC with your ministry, and had a great deal of respect for you. 😎